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Loving
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 Toe

Text Box: What’s the craziest thing you ever did in the name of LOVE?
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Ever hide in the bushes spying on your lover to see if you could catch them cheating? 
What about scare your loved one into submission with threats of hot grits on private parts.
Did you ram your loves car on the freeway when you saw them with another person. 
Expose your lovers infidelity to their spouse. 
Maybe you offered a kidney or heart for a transplant.
You made your lover dependent on you so that it would be hard, almost impossible to live without you. 
What about call your loves ones place of employment and air your relationship’s dirty laundry.

How about testify to your church what this love has done to you. 
Did you beg and plead, threaten to end your life or your loves life if they didn’t stay with or return to you? 
 IF IT’S REALLY LOVE 
Maybe you let that person go in peace when they no longer wanted to be in the relationship.  You respected their right to live the life they desired even if it meant that you were not a part of that new life.  You didn’t get crazy and try to ruin their reputation by exposing shared secrets, or distributing their diary  or any other information that might bring embarrassment or grief.  You didn’t attempt to turn children, family, and friends against the person.  That even though you may have been hurt, you didn’t allow your emotions to destruct another human, especially one you LOVE. 

YOU LOVE YOURSELF ENOUGH TO LET GO WHEN IT’S TIME,  AND UNDERSTAND THAT BECAUSE YOU LOVE YOURSELF, THAT YOU ARE ENOUGH .   
The Infidelity Cure Text Box: It didn't’ make me a millionaire yet,  but I have found the cure for infidelity.  It’s not a pill, or a shot.  It’s not a drink,  a weapon, or a chastity belt.  As a matter of fact, it doesn’t cost one penny and everyone has 24/7 access to it.
Drum roll please …. 

 
Are you kidding?  You may ask.  
Who tells the truth about infidelity?
Just recently on a popular daytime talk show,  one of the guys on the panel  admitted to his girlfriend that he’d had a one-night-stand.  His girlfriend dumped him.  When he spoke with his friends, they said he shouldn’t have told her because it was a one time only thing.  The ‘relationship expert’ on the show agreed with his friends.  The expert advice was that he should have lied to his girlfriend.  I was confused.  What if that one-night- stand had resulted in a baby, a crazy stalker, or STD?  Then he should tell his girlfriend?  What if he had another one time only one night stand, and another.  It didn’t make sense to me.  I respect that he gave her the opportunity to make her decision based on truth.  Yes he lost a relationship that he valued, still it was a result of him doing something that he wanted to do.   One may think that what you don’t know can’t hurt you. But what if you discover that your husband is having unprotected sex outside of your relationship.  Do you think he will come home and say “Baby, we need to use protection until the test results come back”.  The reality is that married women are increasingly becoming exposed to HIV and STD’s because their husbands are engaging in high risk sexual activity outside of their marriage.  Wouldn’t you like to opportunity to not be exposed to sexually transmitted diseases? Would you tell your spouse that “Honey, we need to start wearing a condom”, when it could mean the end of your relationship?  Probably not.
So how is honesty the cure?
The first person you have to be honest with is yourself.  When you start to appreciate romantic attention outside of your relationship, let your partner know.  Tell your partner what is lacking, be it attention, sex, adventure, personal hygiene, weight gain, weight loss, or bad breath.  Whatever it is address it!  I’d rather be told that my baggy sweatpants, faded tee shirts, and disheveled hairdo are a turnoff, rather than hear that as the excuse when infidelity is exposed.  If my mate wants a sexual experience that I’m not comfortable with and yet he’s determined to have that experience, I want to know.   With the truth, I can make my own decision to stay or leave the relationship based on reality.   And yes, sometimes the truth hurts, but that doesn't mean lie.  If you agree to a monogamous relationship and you break that agreement, or feel you can no longer honor the agreement,  I  believe the other person has the right to know.  Truth is reality.  When you lie, you are controlling and manipulating a person or situation.  It is deceit that causes people to get angry,  and sometimes crazy enough to drive across the country in an adult diaper to confront a romantic rival.   Maybe that person didn’t know the  truth about the type of relationship she was in.  In the case of the one night stand, perhaps, some other woman would have appreciated his honesty and the relationship made stronger.   If you are not fulfilled in your relationship, love yourself enough to live a life free of deceit and manipulation.  Have the courage to take the necessary steps to live your best life.  Love with honesty.  If you can’t tell your partner about it, don’t do it.   Open honest communication is the key to building strong relationships.  
That’s what I think.  What do you think?  
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